Kilimanjaro: Why we challenge ourselves.
I know the factual reasons for doing it.
1. A party didn't seem a big enough way to celebrate how grateful I feel to be turning 40. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE a good party and LOVE nothing more than spending time with friends. But a party is a party, I wanted a significant memory to mark the occasion, and to do something that would have been impossible this time 3 years ago
2. I wanted to give back to a charity that has given me so much. Fundraising for Shine Cancer Support was important to Adrian and I. I find it difficult to explain, when people ask, just how important Shine is. I plan to write more about Shine later so will post a link here when I do.
So those are the basic reasons for my challenge but, as a general concept, what is it in human nature that makes us want to challenge ourselves?
A challenge is never undertaking in isolation, whether people do it along with you, or support you in doing it, human interaction is always involved. Someone asked me yesterday what the best bit of climbing Kilimanjaro was - I had 2 answers. The most spiritually amazing part for me was half way on the summit attempt, when the sun started to rise. I was looking down over Mawenzi peak in silhouette, with the horizon behind it - bright orange blending into deep, dark blue. Colours you can't replicate in any form. I can't describe the vastness of the horizon, it was like looking down on the entire planet. I was on my own with a guide at this point but I knew the rest of the team ahead of me were watching too. Which brings me to the second, and more significant answer, - the best bit, by far, was sharing it all with the group.
Like all big experiences it is difficult to come back to reality afterwards. I spent last week with a group of 11 other people, we are now all back in our own little realities (apart from Dave, the machine, who is half way up the mountain again with a new group of people!). We are all finding it difficult to describe our experience to friends and family but when people ask about the best bit, what I keep coming back to is the other people. In challenging situations people come together, it's in our basic nature, we support each other, cheer each other on, celebrate each other's achievements. Apologies for turning all corny, but it really is a beautiful thing. The group of people I walked with were all doing it for different reasons, I wish I had more time to talk to each and every person about the drive behind their climb, but I do know that each person was magnificent. Everyone brought something different to the group; joy, positivity, determination, reassurance, fun, sarcasm, exceptional preparation and planning. Then there were the other useful qualities; expertise in volcanic rock formations, hair plaiting expertise, noxious bottom gasses, harboring excessive, but needed, amounts of paracetamol!!!!!! Joking aside, when you spend an intense experience with other people, you become connected despite your differences. It is in these situations that we grow, we assimilate qualities of the people we meet and it adds to our own value as individuals.
When I first thought about undertaking this challenge I said I would only do it with Adrian, I would not go on my own. The reason for this is that I knew an experience like this would be life changing. Not life changing in the major, in your face, way that Cancer is, but in a much more subtle but equally long lasting way. I wanted to share this with my husband - he had to sit on the sidelines and watch Cancer change me - this time we would be properly in it together. Adrian - it doesn't matter that we didn't make it to the top together, it really is the journey that matters, not the destination. It took every ounce of strength, determination, bloody mindedness and possibly a little bit of a miracle to make that final walk up through the bloody boulder field to Gilmans point. Adrian - I swear you were with me every step of the way. Each step I took I thought of you and Abi and Isla and I knew I would make it to the top even if it took the rest of my life - which in a semi delirious state at one point I may have thought it would! How I got down again though, I will never know!
Each and every person in the group contributed to my experience and has change me in some, possibly imperceptible, way and I know I am that little bit stronger because of you all.
So, my answer to why we challenge ourselves is - we do it to grow as a person, to learn about our own qualities, and do draw on the qualities of people around us.
I have an additional take on why I, personally, challenge myself and it is simply because I can. I feel driven do do things while I am physically able because I have an acute sense that that ability can change in a heart beat. Those that know me well, know that I am generally not a person who dwells on the 'what if'. Cancer has made me more of a worrier for sure, but my default setting is not to worry until it happens. However, I also now live with a great sense of my own mortality and I chose to really live life in the moment and take full advantage of what I can do NOW. Should Cancer, or any other serious health hiccup, enter my life again I want to know I took full advantage of my healthy body while I could.
So, my challenge to you all is to go out and find something to make you grow, step out of your comfort zone and never take for granted the gift of being able to do just that.
This post is dedicated to my fellow Kilimanjaro Trekkers: Thank you for the memories, for helping me grow and for making me a little bit stronger:
Adrian, Angela, Carol, Dave, Jen, Louise, Mark, Miranda, Paulina, Simon, Steve
(in alphabetical order as you are all equally as important as each other!)
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