My Christmas story for Giving Tuesday
This year Christmas will be everything it should be with 2 young children in the house; an ensemble of excitement, hyperactivity, too much sugar, lots of hugs and laughter with a smattering of the inevitable sibling bickering! I could say that Christmas 4 years ago was vastly different but, again, with 2 even younger Children in the house, it really wasn't! Christmas 2013 I was midway through chemotherapy treatment for Breast Cancer. I was at the start of what was to be a much longer and more deeply life changing event than I ever imagined at that point. Despite that, life with Cancer is still a life and I am lucky to have happy and funny memories during the worst of times so I'd like to share some of those.
A couple of weeks before Christmas - Adrian and I on Black Pearl, our newly acquired old and beat up but very much loved boat. Very happy.
Of course chemotherapy treatment isn't a breeze, and after 3 rounds of the high dose good stuff I had lost all the hair on my body (except my eyebrows which hung on 'til the very end but then never came back!), I was tired.....very, very tired (although having a 2 year old and 5 year old might have had something to do with that), I was in fairly constant pain and had a never ending run of hospital appointments to be scanned and have needles stuck in me. On top of that I was trying to still go to work when I was well enough - this is one of the memories that make me smile when I look back, firstly because I was totally crazy and should have just rested at home, but secondly because of the wonderful people I worked with - Mums and Dads that I taught baby signing to - who were all so fabulously supportive and gave me so much love at that time.
Before each chemo I had to have a 'pre chemo' appointment and I had this appointment on December 23rd as my next round was to be just after Christmas. I merrily (ho ho ho and all that) rocked up, knowing the drill by now. After a short wait I was called to see the nurse for bloods to be taken. She was wearing a black 'ba humbug' hat - not the best approach in a chemo ward, but hey ho, each to their own. But then came the monologue of moans about how she was working a 12 hour shift and it was tough being in the NHS and working Christmas Eve. Yes love, you've got it tough but you are working in a ward full of people who are coming in to be pumped full of chemicals on Christmas Eve so perhaps you should ease off the moaning!! Of course I didn't say that, I was a bit speechless, but it's a little memory that makes me smile now and it's a good reminder that there is always someone worse off than you, so think before you speak. I must add that the majority of Doctors and Nurses, and particularly the reception staff on the Chemo ward were amazing, always cheerful and always working 3 peoples jobs.
Over the Christmas period my youngest daughter, Isla, was turning 3 and Abi was turning 6 not long after. I was absolutely determined they would still celebrate their birthdays, regardless of my treatment regime. In hindsight (isn't it a great thing?) they were young enough to not have remembered that one year Mummy was ill and they didn't have great birthday parties, but at the time it served as a positive focus for me. Isla had a joint birthday party with a friend so that eased some of the pressure but looking back I just laugh. I laugh at myself for getting through a party with a smile on my face when my back was in spasm and I felt constantly nauseous! Following chemotherapy I had to self inject a drug for a week to stimulate the production of white blood cells, this caused a lot of bone pain. Whether it was this or another of the many drugs I was taking, my back was in a bad way the day of Islas party. As we drove to the party venue that day I was deep breathing through the spasms in my back that came on when I was in a sitting position. As my good friend Liz said at the time, and frequently tells me to this day - I am insane!!!! But, it was better than sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. Anyone that knows Isla, and knew her then, will understand the look in this photo of us at her party.......let's just say she was a spirited 2/3 year old :-)
ALL of my memories during this time are wrapped in love. My parents, who were up and down from Edinburgh to the South coast (where we live) like yoyo's for months to help out, and came down just before Christmas to help with Islas party. My in-laws all came down and hired a cottage over Christmas so we could have Christmas dinner with them and I could rest at home if I needed to. My friends in the village we live in continued to shower me with love and support. If anything, my girls will remember that Christmas as one of the best - with all their favourite people around them and an abundance of love, parties and presents.
It shouldn't have been, but it really was a lovely Christmas and one to remember as much as any other. So thank you to all of the people who made it that way but especially my husband who continues to put up with me and my amazing girls who make me so proud every day.
Happiness right there!
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| The sheer joy of new slippers!!! |
The sheer joy of a new Hello Kitty teddy!!!!
http://shinecancersupport.org/?gclid=CjwKCAiAr_TQBRB5EiwAC_QCq0S_08tOehX0hnrIVZ5u6nX1SmtQH6Ziihb5WznxiY6PpZMJU-_tcxoC3eUQAvD_BwE
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